Being a Single, JET Mom in Japan

Many people ask me, "How do you do it?" Frankly, I don't know. But it can be done!

I am a 2nd year JET who moved here from Canada in August 2001. My daughter was 2 years old when I arrived here in the Kansai region. My Journalism diploma and Sociology degree were being wasted and too many trips to the food bank fuelled my decision to come to Japan.

Long before I ever knew I was having my daughter, I had dreamed about teaching English in Japan. Unlike other people, I didn't know a thing about Japan. The country just promised something very different from the Canadian culture I grew up in. I live for the challenge and Japan was going to be my challenge. Realizing that being a single mother wasn't a reason to forget about my dreams, I jumped back into the saddle and applied for the JET Programme.

So I made it here. My supervisor at the Board of Education and my base school were extremely helpful and helped me with all the childcare and housing arrangements that I needed. My transition to life in Japan was much easier with the help of some wonderful people.

Coming on the JET Programme was one of the best things I could have ever done for my daughter and myself. The JET income has afforded us some luxuries that we definitely did not have at home in Canada. We have a comfortable two-story house, some cool electronics, lots of toys and plenty of food. We have also had the luxury of traveling to Australia, South Korea and China. What single parent could afford this kind of lifestyle without having to work their way up the corporate ladder?

My daughter, who is now 4 years old, is fluent in the Japanese language and Japanese customs. All of the Japanese people around us are in awe at how well she has grasped the language and the local dialect. She sings, plays and speaks Japanese - even in her sleep! The locals or people we meet on the train frequently shower her with gifts. She is given so much attention and love from everyone around us, that these people are more like an extended family. Emotionally, she is much better off here.

As a single mom, I haven't experienced much discrimination here. My older, female supervisor has issues with me being a single mom and has forbidden me to discuss my circumstances with the students. (I have never been married and have no contact with the father.) The other teachers have no problem with me telling the students my situation. We're here for "internationalization" right?!

One major problem I do face in Japan is finding someone to baby-sit my daughter on nights that I would like to join my other single JET friends for dancing. After a year here, some young moms from my daughter's daycare finally approached me to be friends. They are now my closest girlfriends. They baby-sit sometimes when I need the help. I give them English lessons in exchange for their kindness. It's a pretty effective give-and-take.

I have re-contracted for a third year. You just can't beat the Japanese experience and the money! And as I go into my third year of the JET Programme, I will be having my second child. As fate would have it, I am destined to have another child as a single mom. I am due August 8th. With the exception of the scary obstetrics hospitals here, staying in Japan on the JET Programme with two children (and as a single mom) is the best thing I can do for my family - better than an uneventful life, living off of the government back home in Canada.

Please visit my website if you want to follow my life: http://groups.msn.com/SingleMomswhowanttodustofftheirdreams

"If you believe everything you read, don't read." (chinese proverb)